RANT OF THE DAY: Spring '16 WTF-ery; Complaints and Advice

Is it just me or has this "spring" been the most random season in all of BBW history?

It's bad BBW, it's really bad! It's so bad, I have not bought a single candle since February...FRIGGIN' FEBRUARY! And I know for a fact I am not the only one on a BBW ban. Is that what y'all want BBW, for folks to go on candle bans or based candles from third parties..cuz it's a-happenin!

Let's look at all the random ish you guys did this spring and what y'all could've done differently and/or better and hopefully prevent it from happening again. Let's start at the beginning...

White Barn Market
COMPLAINT: last year's White Barn Market was cute but nothing special. And it certainly wasn't good enough to repeat this year. There was no theme, no consistency, just random ass scents tossed together.
ADVICE: Bring back the Sweet Shoppe collection! It was INSANELY popular, why not capitalize on that?! You can call it "Springtime Cafe". Soooo many scents would work - Cinnamon Sugared Doughnuts, Pink Lemonade Poundcake, Mocha Latte Swirl, Summertime Soda, Cherry Blossom Sangria (but call it "punch", Tequila Lime Cupcake/Key Lime Pie, LAVENDER FRIGGIN MARSHMALLOW/Paris, Raspberry Peach Macaron, Peachy Tea or Raspberry Sun Tea, Blueberries and Creme, Ice Cream Shop, Pinkpetal Teacake. NO WATERMELON LEMONADE, GEORGIA PEACH, VANILLA BEAN MARSHMALLOW OR PECAN PRALINE COBBLER!

Destinations
COMPLAINT: I hate to break it to you BBW but people are over Destinations..and it's your fault. Back in the day, people could always look forward to some newness in Destinations (especially Spring '14, that was the bomb!) But now, it's the same locales and the same scents. Destinations is done, put it to rest!
ADVICE: Bring back Fresh Picked. Like Destinations, you guys ran into the ground. But it's been two years since it last appearance, so revive it! Sooo many scents to choose from - Mango Cilantro, Honeydew and Thyme, Blackberry Grapefruit, Pomelo Grapefruit, Summer Melon, Fresh Picked Cherries, Lemon Cucumber, Sweet Spearmint/Garden Mint, Pear, Sweet Clementine, Wild Berries, Tuscan Herbs/Market Herbs. And please no flowers or drinks, just edible fruits and herbs!

Fiesta
COMPLAINT: The infamous Taco Bell collection...which was basically a redone version of last year's Brazil collection. The only new and interesting scent in the shabang was Baja Cactus Flower, Endless Weekend's little sister. And releasing Pineapple Lily instead of Prickly Pear Sugarcane (which is actual thing in Mexico)...QUE ESTUPIDO EL BBW! And it would be one thing if this collection came out around Cinco de Mayo, but nope!
ADVICE: Instead of taking us all around the world, let's just stay in the good USofA. What y'all should've released instead was the desert/Southwest collection. Everyone is clamoring for it - it's conceptual scents (which we haven't seen since Coastal Cool), a cohesive theme, and scents that are mostly new and the ones that aren't are scents that have been in rotation. If you guys released this now as spring to summer transitional collection, y'all would have making a FORTUNE!

Ciao Italy
COMPLAINT: OY VEY! So you guys released a beachy Italian/Mediterranean themed collection...but filled it with tropical Hawaiian scents? Tiki Beach, really BBW? This collection was the epic fail to end all epic fails
ADVICE: Again, stop taking us to trips around the world, we're exhausted. Ya'll already had an Italian collection, once is enough. What you should've done instead was market this as a nondescript beach spa resort with no destination attached. You could've kept Seaside Citrus/Lemon Verbena, Indigo Sky, Tiki Beach and Fresh Bamboo while also adding  - Freshwater & Seasalt, Renew & Refresh, Nectarine Green Tea, and Suntan/Beachside. Also Pure White Cotton and White Tea & Ginger would've worked in this collection as opposed to their previous ones.

Wallpaper
COMPLAINT:You guys have been a major "springtime in the south" kick lately. First it was Garden Party in '14 which was awesome, then Screendoors and Sweet Tea which was less awesome and now the 90's wallpaper collection. This collection makes me that much more ashamed to be Southern
ADVICE: Combine Garden Party and Screendoors - Keep Garden Party and Southern Sweet Tea as well as Bowties and Bourbon but throw in Peachy Tea, Summertime Soda, Melon, Southern Magnolia, Lakeside/Verbena Waters, Pinkpetal Teacake or Frosted Tangerine Cake, Sunflower (instead of Sundress), Fresh Linen, Nightblooming Jasmine as replacements.

Core collection
COMPLAINT: This collection was just allllllll over the place. It's like y'all just rolled names off the top of yalls heads and called it a day
ADVICE: This collection should've been one of 3 things...

  • variety of constant re-releases, ie Mahogany Teakwood, Watermelon Lemonade, Vanilla Bean
  • nonassuming Aromatherapy type scents - French Lavender, Lemon Verbena, Eucalyptus Mint (and Rain)Freshwater & Seasalt, Renew & Refresh
  • FLORALS...which segues nicely to my next point 

No Florals
COMPLAINT: Where the f*** were the floral scents this spring? There was one lone floral scent this entire season - Flower Shop aka Amsterdam in Destinations..that's it
The very first collection released this spring should've been a floral and nothin but the floral collection - Spring, Bloom, Garden Party or Majestic Rose, Southern Magnolia, Sweet Pea, Hydrangea, Garden Bouquet, Green Grass, Garden Freesia, Sunflower, Wild Poppies/Poppy Sunshine and Fresh Cut Lilacs instead of Lilac Blossom and Nightblooming Jasmine instead of Honeysuckle cuz those two scents have been done to death!

Too Many "Hawaiian" collections
COMPLAINT:Well BBW, you did it..you made people HATE Hawaii! Hawaii..Fiji..Tahiti...HATE! Seriously are those the only tropical locales y'all can think of?! And it's always the same scents over and friggin over
ADVICE:Let's take a break from Hawaii and Polynesia/South Seas indefinitely. Either two things need to happen instead; either a) have regular nondescript beachy scents with locale theme or b)find a new tropical beach location. There are plenty to choose from - The French Riviera, Rio de Janeiro/Copcabana, Bali, Santorini, Madagascar, the Caribbean/Barbados/Trinadad/Jamaica, New Zealand/Australia. Get an atlas and actually use your imaginations!

Coco for Coconuts
COMPLAINT:Now you guys have had an unhealthy obsession with coconuts for as long as I have been shopping there (cough cough Coconut Pumpkin) but lately y'all have taken it to a whole new level. And I get, you guys wanna cater to the basic bitches of America as coconut is the pumpkin of summer but come on. And now y'all have been adding coconut to the notes in scents that you can't smell the coconut and coconut shouldn't exist in the first place.. i.e. Key Lime Pie and Blueberry Twist
ADVICE:First of all, adding coconut notes both real and imagined won't necessarily make a scent popular. Furthermore, less is more guys. Take a look all the coconut heavy scents you have and subtract. The remainder you do have, spread them out evenly - no collection should more than 2 coconut scents and even that is still pushing it

In conclusion, here are some key points to consider for future reference

  • have actual floral and fruit scents for spring
  • spread your collections more evenly
  • cut back on the coconut
  • leave any tropical beachy scents towards the end of spring to be transitional
  • consider other locales other than Hawaii, Fiji and Tahiti

4 comments:

  1. As always...excellent review of the current state of affairs at BBW

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    Replies
    1. Why thank ya kindly!

      If only BBW would actually listen

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  2. Yes, loved this comprehensive review/complaint of all the stuff we fans have been complaining about. I also like how you offered solutions. I agree with the coconut.. At first I didn't mind it but now I'm wayyyy over it! If they only did 2 in a collection in the appropriate season it wouldn't be bad. Plus they could put more effort into it and only release great coconut scents (hell I might buy one), the no flower in spring has me perplexed.

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    Replies
    1. BBW really needs sit the hell down and just listen to people, take an interest in their customers instead of playing it safe and pandering to basic bitches. I doubt anyone from BBW/L Brand are ever gonna read this or anything else on this blog but they should!

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