NEW RANT & IDEA OF THE DAY: The Mexican candles (and what I'd replace em with)

As most of yall know, I posted about the upcoming Spring candles and one of the collections has a "Mexican" theme...*sigh. As exciting as it may sound, sadly many of the scents in this collection are the most basic and un-Mexican things you could think of...almost to the point of being insulting. Y'know BBW has never been the most culturally savvy bunch...I'm lookin at you Electric Tokyo/Tokyo Petals. I just imagine a bunch of palefaces sitting the table throwing out the most mainstream basic scents they could think of and trying to spin them into something international and exotic. But with this collection in particular, they're really diggin deep; this collection is as Mexican as Taco Bell! Now I would never claim myself to be the authority on Mexican culture (although during my childhood living in Houston with all Mexican friends, I was made an honorary Mexicano), I could think of better scents for this collection.

The only scent in this entire collection that makes any amount of sense is Cinnamon Spiced Vanilla, which by all accounts is a repackage of the original Sweet Shoppe/pre-2013 version of Cinnamon Sugared Doughnuts...which one could argue smells like the delicious cinnamony Mexican treat churros. But ay dios mios, that name though! Could you get more whitebread that that?! Cinnamon Sugared Churros too ethnic? Again, here is a prime example of BBW catering to the mainstream by offering a scent with a name that doesn't sound too exotic and ethnic...ethnic scary!

Guava Piña Colada - ok, so BBW obviously didn't do their research. While guavas are native to Mexico and Central America in general, piña coladas are not; its the national drink of Puerto Rico!!! This scent could stay but that name should be changed; it should marketed as a frozen treat...a "paleta" perhaps if you will

Prickly Pear and Sugarcane - ok, this kinda makes sense too; cacti/prickly pear is a part of the Mexican culture - hell it's on Mexican flag! However I dont think that BBW knows that they're is a difference between prickly pear and PEAR - THEY DO NOT SMELL ALIKE!!!

REPLACEMENTRainforest Sugarcane - This was a nice scent, weird but nice; it WAS little earthy, a little green, a little bit of sweetness. It was a nice change from all of the pineapple and mango and coconut scents we're usually assaulted with in spring/summer.

OR

REPLACEMENT: Provence Garden: This was a nice fresh, dewy, green scent with vaguely cucumber-y/pear-y undernote and could possibly pass as a cactus type scent

Pineapple Lily - ok, so every single one of these exotic (non-European) locale themed collections, there is always a "pineapple" scent and this collection is no exception. Here's the thing...a) I don't think pineapple lilies actually smell like pineapples...or suntan lotion (Jennifer aka theshow78 said it smelled like Poolside mixed with pineapple) and b)pineapple lilies are indigenous to AFRICA; I found very little evidence of them growing wild and indigenously in Mexico. 

REPLACEMENT: Hawaiian Hibiscus - ok hear me out...hibiscus tea aka aqua de jamaica is really popular in Mexico and this is, so far, the only decent hibiscus scent in the BBW vaults! 

Mayan Caramel: Really BBW, REALLY?! Any friggin excuse to have a damn caramel scent around! And to add "MAYAN" to it for authenticity and exoticness..again, really?! Now granted, the Mexicans do have cajeta and the better known dulce de leches (both being caramel-esque desserts made from condensed milk) but I doubt anyone from BBW's marketing department know what either of those were. And there's certainly nothing "Mayan" about either treat. ¡Tu sabes que, no puedo!

REPLACEMENT: Cayenne Caramel - out of ALLLLLL of the caramel scents that has been on the market, this one makes more sense. One thing that this collection is laughably lacking in is SPICE! 

OR

REPLACEMENT: Dolce/Vanilla Bean Noel - just call it "Dulce"

Island Margarita - again, any excuse to have a basic crowd-pleaser in the bunch. I used to really like good ol IG but after awhile I just got really bored with it. We've seen it year after year after from even before I was into BBW; its in every summer/tropical/beach collection. And now to toss into this collection, it's just lazy!

REPLACEMENT: Lime Margarita Granita - again,this scent just makes more sense. This scent smelled more like an actual margarita ...although one can argue that with that unementioned unexplained mint note that it smells more like a mojito but whatever..still the point is, it smells more like an authentic drink that IG ever will. Tequila Lime Margarita..BAM! *cue the Mexican shout

Mango Dragonfruit - again, yet another excuse to have a basic crowd-pleaser in the collection. And dragonfruit, although eventually brought to Mexico where where it became popular, originated in Asia!

REPLACEMENT: Mango Cilantro - come on, this scent was fan-effing-tastic!!! Sooooo much better and fresher and juicier than MD. It was a fiesta in a friggin jar!

Black Teakwood...... no comment

REPLACEMENT: Havana Heat/Ski Den - a nice sexy tobacco based mandle. They do grow tobacco in Mexico, there's even evidence that the ancient Mayan smoked a little of it back in the day. Makes me think a hot sexy vaquero smoking a fresh cigar to unwind after a day of cow wrangling on his stallion on the ranch

Vanilla Coconut: why are yall putas over there in BBWland so obsessed with not only this scent but coconut scents in general?! Vanilla Coconut is STANK!!!

REPLACEMENT: Coconut Water - come on BBW! First of all this scent has been seen since since spring '12, bring back the classics! And look at the notes; coconut water, sheer vanilla, pineapple and sparkling citrus..tell me that doesn't sound friggin amazing! And hello, coconut water is a thing in Mexico; Goya sells it in a can!

And there are so many other Mexican flavors to experiment with and make new fascinating and truly exotic blends... horchata, flan, hibiscus tea/aqua de jamaica, tamarind and chili candies/jarritas, marzipan candy, cinnamon flavored coffee, chili spiked hot chocolate, arroz con leche...the possibilities are endorse. But no, as always you stuck to the basics. Instead of giving us a taste of Mexico, you gave us straight up Montezuma's revenge!

9 comments:

  1. putas! haha you crack me up..you're right they could have gone so many delicious places with this collection !!!Mexican hot chocolate and mangonadas (mango with chili & chamoy)sound amazing. Apply for a job for bath and body works product development!!!!!! you have great ideas.

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    1. That would be my dream job! I'd make sure there were no tired ass basic ass repackages, that's for sure! It realy annoys me when they come up with collections like this one with so many missed opportunities. Btw mangonados is my jam!

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  2. Lmfao on cow rangling .. You are to damn funny!! No mas please BBW on this collection!!

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    1. LMAO

      Yeah this collection is beyond ridiculous!

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  3. Lol!!! This reminds me of when my in-laws asked for my super secret family recipe for mole and I replied, "I'm not Mexican, I'm Puerto Rican," and they looked me dead in the eye and said, "so you're not going to give us the recipe?" But this time in candle form.

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    1. ROTFLMAO!!! That's terrible!

      Yes this is exactly like that! SMDH

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  4. The baja cactus blossom , is to die for

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    1. That's what the general consensus is; it seems to be the runaway hit of the collection

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    2. That's what the general consensus is; it seems to be the runaway hit of the collection

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