RANT OF THE DAY: Go Home BBW, You're Drunk Part Deux

Ohhhh BBW, why can't you get your proverbial shit together?! I had such high hopes for this fall but you've disappointed me. Once again, as usual, it's a shitshow!

First of all, yet again we have another season of batch variances! 6 candles have batches that smell one way in one store and something totally different different in another store...6!!!

And then you have candles that for whatever reason has been tweaked and doesn't quite smell the same or don't have the throw strength that it used

The Cider & Vine collection is just weird and random at best. Thank gawd for Spiced Pomegranate Cider and updated redone versions of Black Cherry Merlot and Sparkling Pear Riesling cuz the rest of the collection is lame!

And the Pumpkin Collection... Now I have begrudgingly tolerated the all pumpkin nothin but the pumpkin collections THE PAST THREE YEARS cuz it was a nice mix of fan favorites and new hits. This year, not so much - just the same generic basic crap we see year after year and repackages, none of which have pumpkin in them! Pumpkin Pie is the ONLY candle in the ENTIRE collection with actual pumpkin notes. When will guys ever learn...

CINNAMON AND FALL SPICES DO NOT A PUMPKIN CANDLE MAKE!!!

PUTTING PUMPKIN IN THE NAME DOES NOT MAKE IT A PUMPKIN SCENT!!!

And the Bright Leaves collection...Replacing Pumpkin Caramel Latte that actually smells like a hot beverage with Pumpkin Marshmallow Latte that smells like body lotion? Was that really a good idea?

Mahogany Apple..really BBW, REALLY?

Cider Lane and Cranberry Woods.. *deep calming breaths

I do not understand why you guys are being so secretive and clandestine and random with these 2 scents! It's not like they are new test scents, they're both fall staples and Slatkin classics that have been around for years. hey're right up there with Leaves and Autumn and Sweater Weather. So why aren't they going wide? Why are test stores and newly opened White Barn stores only getting them? Now there are rumors of them hitting stores possibly next month...emphasis on the word "rumors". Even if that were the case, why? Why are they being released late?! It makes no sense! Why can't the WHOLE collection be released TOGETHER? What possible good does releasing these a month or so after the initial collection release gonna do you? Would you prefer people buy these and other unreleased candles off of Evilbay or Mercari cuz that's what people are doing! Do you want your candles being sold over the asking price from third party sellers and money that could be going in your pockets going into theirs instead? That seems to be the case!

The Halloween candles...you guys finally listened and made a Vampire Blood candle. Purrfect Pumpkin...it's not Pumpkin Carving but it'll do. But Boo...Vanilla Bean Marshmallow...really BBW?! Not Blueberry Pumpkin Patch, not Autumn Night or something completely new and autumnal but Vanilla Bean Marshmallow..why? Aren't you guys tired of kowtowing to the basic bitches of America?! Which brings me to my next point...

The Desert candles..y'all create a collection of conceptual scents (which is extremely rare nowadays) that's not tropical or beachy and based on American territory (again, rare), inspired by a region of the country you've never utilized before. What's more...there's no coconut, no gardenia, no mahogany, no frosting, marshmallow! HALLELUJAH!!! Everybody, myself included, we're going apeshit. So what do you guys do? You shelf em saying that due to quality issues, they're going to be released at a later date. BULLSHIT! Isn't you're motto that you have perfectly burning candles with handpicked wicks..is that your thing? You release crappy performing candles all the time left and right all year long...what made this collection so different? I think you were scared to release them lest the basic bitches of America and the teenyboppers and clueless housewives would be turned off by it's sophistication and un-generic-ness.

And to add insult to injury, y'all have the audacity to release these Desert-esque candles...all of which repackages. And to gild the layer, you have pretty glasses with Navajo inspired fake lids and the wax looks like pretty mutilayered multicolored sandboxes...all to the disguise the fact they're all $29.50 each! Seriously, when are you guys gonna learn your lesson. You do this time and time again, these expensive collection never do well; people wait until there is a sale..NOBODY buys them fullprice. Hell only a handful of people buy your regular candles full price! Honestly, who the hell do you think is gonna buy Eucalyptus frggin Mint for $30?! GTFOH with that nonsense! You're not Harry Slatkin,  you're not Henri Bendel. Nothing you currently sell in stores is worth $30...NOTHING!

BBW, GET IT THE **** TOGETHER NOW!!!!!




4 comments:

  1. I was wondering what happened to those Desert candles... I was really looking forward to them :(

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  2. I agree. I am going to buy maybe like 1 or 2 BBW candles this season and buy candles elsewhere.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I said it before and I'll say it again.... 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 slow clap!! 🙌🏻 PREACH!!

    ReplyDelete

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