RANT OF THE DAY: The Coastal Oak & Seasalt Scandal

So, as usual, I found myself in a bit of controversy. On Sunday I posted on Instagram about Coastal Oak & Seasalt  and that it's a repackage of Orange Blossom & Driftwood...and I stand by it. It's not opinion or a theory, it's a friggin fact. I owned OB&DW and only very recently brought it back to the store to exchange. That said, despite not being able to do a side by side, the scent was still fresh in my memory and I instantly recognized the blend in CO&SS; it had the same orange/bergamot/neroli blend that tickled my nose and upset my sinuses that OB&DW, which is why I brought it back to the store.

I also posted the description notes for both candles as they're both suspiciously similar and anyone with a working brain, functioning eyes and a grasp on the English can spot out said similarities...

  • Orange Blossom Petals, Crisp Bergamot, Soft Sea Washed Wood
  • Oceanside Oak, Sparkling Bergamot, Sea Salt Crystals, Sage

So let's break it down shall we...
  • They're both orangey
  • both share a "bergamot" note
  • one describes the wood as "soft sea washed" and the other blatantly says "sea salt"; wouldn't something "sea washed" be..oh I dunno..SALTY
  • in the fragrance making world, "driftwood" is usually a blend consisting of...oak; furthermore in CO&SS, the oak is described as "oceanside". Wouldn't that make it...DRIFTWOOD

I presented my evidence and waited for the comments​. There were some who agreed with me having did a side by side comparison. But then for the rest of the day, all of these naysayers came out of the woodwork saying I was wrong.

Now I admit, I have a problem - I hate being wrong..well that's not true. I'm ok with being corrected...if I'm wrong. And if I am wrong, I will gracefully and wholeheartedly accept defeat and admit my blunder. However, if I'm right, constant naysaying truly pisses me off and I will vehemently defend myself. In this instance however, I was tired of all comments and I deleted the post. And for aninstant, I thought maybe I was wrong. Then I thought "f*** that! I know what the hell I smelled..I'm right..I'M BRONZEBLOGGER BITCH!" Plus other people agreed, which I reiterate they did a side by side comparison.

But here's what truly pissed me off about this incident. Most of the naysayers had the same things in common...
  • they were young (I LOATHE being corrected, right or wrong, by someone significantly younger than me)    
  • they were strangers who didn't follow me; I didn't know them, they didn't know me and I dunno how the hell they even found my post
  • they were SAs at BBW
It's the last thing that really sticks in my craw the most! I've had several run-ins with these bitches on social media and they do nothing but annoy the living piss outta me. They're always some teenybopper barely in their 20s who who don't have a college degree yet or just got it and don't know what to do with it. They're always a girl; some random ass Becky that works at a random ass store in a random ass town...though occasionally I'll get a queen... and there is nothing worst than an young entitled opinionated twink. They never follow me, they never like my posts and they only comment when I post a criticism..which they take personally and with absolute umbrage. How dare I, who don't even work at BBW, say something bad about a product in their store. Apparently just being a SA for whatever amount of time immediately makes you an authority of all things fragrance...much in the same way being a cashier at McDonalds means the person can not only cook a hamburger using the recipe but knows all things cuisine by virtue of standing there in the building.

And their comments ooze and reek of self-entitlement and condescension and youthful arrogance..so stereotypically..millennial..which I hate that word cuz it's used too often with too much misplaced vitriol (and the fact that I'm technically a millennial myself, barely). They essentially talk down to you like you're stupid, throwing useless and regurgitated facts that they were forcefed  from their manager or they base their argument on events and experiences in their store, because obviously what happens in one store happens in them all.Their comments serve no beneficial purpose, they don't enlighten or educate; the aim is to take you down a few pegs which gives them much need validation and smug self-satisfaction. And the few who are trying to be helpful or "correct" me fail in the end because their words are so sarcastic and knowitall-y. And if one more Becky calls me "hun" or "darling" or "gurl", I'm gonna f***ing scream!

First of all, why are you getting so insulted by what I or anyone says a about a candle? Did you make it? Are you a factory worker hand picking and dipping the wicks by hand like they say on the bottom of the candles? Do you work at a fragrance house coming up with blends? Have you intensively studied fragrance notes and the  the science of creating blends? Can you tell me the chemical compound of a fragrance? Do you work in the marketing department at L Brands? Do you have Slatkin on speed dial? Do you, him and Laura hang out at his place, sip martinis and talk shop?

I'm gonna say no to all of that. You're just a SA who stacks, sells, and bags candles...that's it.

Now I don't mean this as an insult nor am I looking down on the profession. I tip my hat to BBW SA's cuz most of them are not treated very kindly by customers or management. I myself do not have the patience, attitude or temperament for the job; my indifference, bluntness and sarcasm would've gotten me fired the very first day. I'm friends with quite a few SAs most whom are cool people; some really love it while others are in it for the paycheck.But then there are the small minority of self righteous douchenozzles who think of themselves and their position way too highly and desperately need a dose of reality.

In conclusion, you don't have to agree with me; it's your God given right to agree or disagree with whatever I say and to speak your peace on what you agree or disagree about. I don't mind debating as long as it's​ civil. However if you get irate or sarcastic or feel the need to talk down to me, read me and put me in place to make yourself feel superior...no maam, ain't nobody​ got time for dat! Furthermore if you're some stranger who doesn't know me, doesn't follow me and has never talked to me otherwise, I'm not gonna entertain you or listen to what you have to say. Lastly, I'm gonna need you to be an authority who actually knows their shit to get into a verbal rumble with me; I am not here​ for basic bitches with basic knowledge.

Oh...and I still say Coastal Oak & Seasalt IS Orange Blossom & Driftwood. Perhaps your store has a different batch but I know what I smelled and I know that I'm right. Say my name...BRONZEBLOGGER...I'm out!



  1. I am LIVING for this rant (yet dying in laughter)!!! That entire interrogative paragraph about their association with the company is hilarious! "Do you have Slatkin on speed dial?" I, too, am technically (but barely) a millennial, and that top half of the generation drives me nuts.

    1. LMAO

      These little children were driving me berzerk on Instagram. I couldn't keep my mouth shut and had to rant lol

  2. "Random ass Becky" made me actually LOL. After going into a BBW store for the first time in a while this past weekend, you couldn't be more spot on.

  3. I find it so funny that that's your experience with BBW SA's! I used to work for BBW and I found that all the people I worked with (myself included) were BRUTALLY honest about when candles sucked and when they didn't, lol. The only ones I met that were like, "Omg, BBW/White Barn is life!" were the older, upper-management type people, because god forbid we talk down on a product, lol. And I'm sure you don't care about the bodycare stuff, but ugh, my biggest pet peeve was freaking Japanese Cherry Blossom! Like, NO, just because it's our top selling scent doesn't mean its actually good! (For example, Mahogany Teakwood, YOUR pet peeve lol.)

    1. Wow, I'm rereading my comment now and realize I sound like a raving lunatic, forgive me, it's late lol. Putting sentences together is not my strong point when I am tired.

  4. lol no worries, I totally got where you were coming from

    yknow it's funny... in all of the years Ive been candle burning and reviewing, Ive had zero interaction with anyone in upper management or corporate except maybe a few former managers. I just get sales associates under 25. Some are cool but too many are antagonistic smug little knowitalls.

    Oh, and if one 20something sales associate tells me one more time how mahogany stankwood is their number one fastest selling scent, Im gonna scream!


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