NEWNESS UPDATE/RANT OF THE DAY: Yay, more CRAP!!!

So yet another random candle collection has hit test stores recently...and it is with a doubt the most boring, basic, underwhelming, uninspired, unnecessary collection ever. We got a lot of crap this spring but this collection is by far the worst, the crappiest of the crap!

I dunno the name of the collection but it's basically a Freshed Picked-esque collection - an odd and bizarre mix of fruity, herbal and cologney scents. First of all, with the "Refresh" and the "Lattice" collections still in stores, do we need yet another fruits and herbs springtime collection?! That said, you would think despite being similar in theme and execution, this collection would have some really exciting blends and most importantly NEWNESS - y'know, something to make it stand out and be different. Yeah no, not so much! Take a gander what scents  BBW chose...

Peach Bellini, Black Cherry Merlot, Eucalyptus Mint, Farmstand Apple, Indigo Sky and Fresh Cut Lilac

a played out drink scent, cough drop scented soap, an ancient aromatherapy clone, fake apple mixed with gasoline, cologne and a ripoff of a Slatkin classic that we've seen 3 years in a row

Also... hello BBW... Peach Bellini and Fresh Cut Lilacs are already in another f***ing collection!!! Hell, Fresh Cut Lilacs are in 3 collections...3!!! Laso the Lattice collection has Sweet Cherry Pie that basically smells like Black Cherry Merlot...soooo, why do we need Black Cherry Merlot?!

There are (for now), 3 "new" scents thrown in for good measure...

Cucumber Melon - Summer Cantaloupe, Crisp Cucumber, Fresh Honeydew Melon (ok so this is kinda exciting as there hasn't been a candle of this very ancient Signature scent since the 2000s)

Sweet Honey Bee - Honeycomb Nectar, Sweet Lemon, Honeyed Ginger (people are already saying that it smells like Honey Tangerine. If it's not a repackage of that, I'll be highly surprised. And even if it isn't, must there be 2 honey/citrus scents at the same friggin time?!)    

Toasted Coconut - Golden Toasted Coconut, Fresh Vanilla Bean, Soft Caramel (first of all, more f***king coconut, really BBW?! Second of all, this sounds absolutely disgusting! Third I'll be highly surprised if this isn't Slatkin's Toasted Coconut...which we now know as Pumpkin Coconut... although there are reports that this scent has a "smoky" vibe to it, so it may actually be new)

And to add insult to injury, not only are scents themselves boring, but they look boring as well. They have a very ol schools 90's BBW look to them...and not in a good way. Plain lbael with drawn on fruit - these candles are serving Dollar General realness hunties!

And so here we are stuck with yet another collection of randomly thrown together basic ass scents - no thought, no theme, no cohesion. It's painfully obvious that BBW just doesn't give a f*** anymore! They're just coasting along releasing crap and getting by on the money from hapless/clueless housewives and teenyboppers. More thought and attention goes into labels and lids with sparkles and glitter and cutesy girly-girl cartoons to distract the basic bitches of America from how boring the scents are! Seriously why put any thought in scents, whether new or oldiebutgoodie when all yall Basic Bettys buy candles "just for the label/wax/lid"?!

BBW, I know that you know that you're pissing off a lot of your fans; you hear people complaining on social media, you know people haven't been buying much or not buying anything at all since SAS and your sales numbers are down. You are cognizant and aware of all of this but you don't care. Instead of getting your fans back on your side again, you release crap, take away bounceback coupons, send out crappy mailer coupons (to those who spend the most money), have shitty pointless sale,  continue to increase prices and refuse to fix burn/throw issues. But you know what BBW, it's all good in the hood. You just keep on doing what you do. Meanwhile, the bank accounts of many are rejoicing across the land! I leave you this as a prophetic warning - Change is coming and you may very well find yourself left behind in the dust.... 

4 comments:

  1. Urgh. I like Indigo Sky, but other than that... sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Everybody seems to like Indigo Sky. I don't think it fits in this collection at all. I really don't understand the thought process behind these scent choices

      Delete
  2. I'm kinda sad you didn't mention the extremely ugly and basic labels this collection has. It deserved a rant. The worst I've ever seen. They look like dollar store candles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crap, I totally forgot about that. They are a hot TJ Maxx mess. Thank you for reminding me!

      Delete

Instagram